Willy Wonka… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!?

The descent of humanity begins after the theme song. As if The Hills, Engaged and Underage, Growing Up Gotti and 16 and Pregnant weren't enough MTV has once again come up with a ridiculously retarded reality TV show, The Jersey Shore. This "docu-soap" exposes one of the most vapid creatures to walk the earth, The Guido. To those of you who have never had the pleasure of watching this show, let me sum it up for you: it chronicles the remarkable life of steroid junkies with spiked hair who look like they've escaped from Willy Wonkas factory. They lack common skills such as proper grammar and articulation, and move into a beach house where they attempt to spread their tainted seed to as many of their female counterparts "guidettes" as humanly possible, all while simultaneously first pumping and spray tanning. Every character on this show is devastatingly stupid.

This show not only popularizes hormone riddled morons who are unable to display basic cognitive skills but it reeks of misogyny as well. Aside from spray tanning, hair spiking and shooting up steroids, these Guido's spend their time rubbing off to transvestite looking skanks, whose hair gives me flashbacks to The Adams Family (*sigh* oh JWOWW). If you have ever watched this show then you have an idea of how offensive it can get. Male characters are made popular by making their sole purpose in life "getting some", while female characters are presented as a group of whores, literally tearing each other apart for male attention, nail polish and or peroxide. These gargoyles are so cracked out from all the hairspray and meth that they don't even recognize their own legal names anymore and constantly leave me to wonder exactly which "situation" is so important that it need be referred to every 6 seconds. It is the ghetto Playboy Mansion on ecstasy, and it is a miracle these idiots haven't killed themselves yet by attempting to heat up their Jacuzzi with a toaster oven.

Yet, these apparently brainless twits are making thousands of dollars and getting rich, all while influencing the general population that watches this MTV trash. Really, I fear for the lives of every person who has been exposed to this pathetic excuse for a show and hope to God that humanities obsession with "reality" television comes to an abrupt end, and soon! Until then, let's hope gonorrhea turns out to be the Guido's kryptonite and these guys disappear.

See Y'all On The Shore,

A-POP

 

S.O.S Canada

Students of St. Michaels College,

    In Canada, many of us are blind to the fact that we are blessed to afford for ourselves a standard of living which others would only dream of. As North Americans we have "won the birth lottery" and have been lucky enough to live in a society which is not ravaged by war, disease, famine or violence. In keeping with the idea of the American, or shall I say "Canadian Dream", our culture has become blinded by the ideal of success: success which unfortunately comes with a very high price to the other billions of human beings who were not as strategic with their geographic birth location. We live our lives in pursuit of self interest, so much so that we rarely question the political ethics and morals of the industrialized world or the transnational business interests which, arguably, have come to run it. North America has its hand firmly grappling the genitals of so many countries its' sickening, and with corporations running sweatshops and employing child laborers they are racking up paper like a hooker on dollar night.

    Currently, the Religious and Community Affairs Commission on SMCSU is raising money to aid the relief effort in Haiti. We are running a dual purpose change drive, not only are we asking SMC students to turn their spare change into a valuable donation but to also to change their outlook on life from the self absorption of North American culture and do
so much good with such little effort. I know that as poor struggling university students it is hard to donate money (or time) to humanitarian efforts, and this is precisely why our initiative is so great: you can give according to your means. Though it may be hard, you are able to go without a cup of coffee for the day—the people in Haiti are not able to go without food, water or shelter. $1.50 for a coffee is chump change to us, but to the people in Haiti it is a very valuable resource.     

Though this tragedy reminds us of how fragile life is, it can also serve to be used as a teachable moment. Often, the extreme poverty and horrible political and social injustices that go on in many parts of the developing world are unnoticed by the common Westerner; it takes blockbuster films like Blood Diamond and Life & Debt, or catastrophic disasters like last week's earthquake for us to open our eyes. To quote Hollywood, "with great power comes great responsibility"— as the privileged few we need to take responsibility for the underprivileged many. We need to give back to those who have been exploited at our expense and spread the wealth that affords us our 3 car garages and $600 coats to those who have nothing. This initiative calls out to each and every one of you to ACT and through this action effectively transform yourselves into a catalyst for positive change. In the words of Gandhi, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD! Come on down to Brennan Lounge and donate your spare change for change!

Personally Yours,     

Amanda Fiume
Religious and Community Affairs Commissioner, SMCSU

N.B. While several agencies have complained about not being able to get aid through to the people who are in the most need, the Canadian Red Cross remains one of the most credible and well established international aid organizations. We will be sending all of the donation money that we collect through the Canadian Red Cross. Rest assured that your money will be used to the full extent of its worth