The descent of humanity begins after the theme song. As if The Hills, Engaged and Underage, Growing Up Gotti and 16 and Pregnant weren't enough MTV has once again come up with a ridiculously retarded reality TV show, The Jersey Shore. This "docu-soap" exposes one of the most vapid creatures to walk the earth, The Guido. To those of you who have never had the pleasure of watching this show, let me sum it up for you: it chronicles the remarkable life of steroid junkies with spiked hair who look like they've escaped from Willy Wonkas factory. They lack common skills such as proper grammar and articulation, and move into a beach house where they attempt to spread their tainted seed to as many of their female counterparts "guidettes" as humanly possible, all while simultaneously first pumping and spray tanning. Every character on this show is devastatingly stupid.
This show not only popularizes hormone riddled morons who are unable to display basic cognitive skills but it reeks of misogyny as well. Aside from spray tanning, hair spiking and shooting up steroids, these Guido's spend their time rubbing off to transvestite looking skanks, whose hair gives me flashbacks to The Adams Family (*sigh* oh JWOWW). If you have ever watched this show then you have an idea of how offensive it can get. Male characters are made popular by making their sole purpose in life "getting some", while female characters are presented as a group of whores, literally tearing each other apart for male attention, nail polish and or peroxide. These gargoyles are so cracked out from all the hairspray and meth that they don't even recognize their own legal names anymore and constantly leave me to wonder exactly which "situation" is so important that it need be referred to every 6 seconds. It is the ghetto Playboy Mansion on ecstasy, and it is a miracle these idiots haven't killed themselves yet by attempting to heat up their Jacuzzi with a toaster oven.
Yet, these apparently brainless twits are making thousands of dollars and getting rich, all while influencing the general population that watches this MTV trash. Really, I fear for the lives of every person who has been exposed to this pathetic excuse for a show and hope to God that humanities obsession with "reality" television comes to an abrupt end, and soon! Until then, let's hope gonorrhea turns out to be the Guido's kryptonite and these guys disappear.
See Y'all On The Shore,
A-POP
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